I’ve had a lot of expectations for myself and my life over the years, and time and time again, those expectations fail to be met for exactly what I imagine them to be. For better or for worse, it just so seems that I am really bad at predicting the future! Who would have seen that one coming?

To share a bit of my track record…

When I was in third grade, I knew I wanted to either be a doctor or own a cupcake bakery. Sophomore year of high school, I knew I wanted to be a pediatric oncologist.

I’m now a journalism major with hopes and dreams of going to law school.

Growing up, I loved a good chick flick/rom-com and could not wait for my perfect cutesy high school romance. I remember talking with a friend about how I couldn’t wait for my first relationship, first kiss, and first date.

Flash forward to today (in college)… I am still waiting. And wow, I truly am glad that I waited.

This time last year, I was preparing to live in the cutest little apartment and gathering up decorations and such to make it the perfect home away from home.

A little late night break in turned those plans upside down. Hello, commuter life!

I had plans and hopes to room with a dear best friend of mine at KSU.

She is now my guardian angel up in Heaven.

Junior year of high school, I found a program online that I knew I wanted to be a part of- The United States Senate Youth Program. Two students only from each state. Competitive process. Meet a Supreme Court Justice and the President! It was a total dream come true, there was no way I would earn a spot.

Not only did I earn that spot, but I am actually on the President’s Instagram to this day- two people down from the man himself. ; )

Similar story- Earlier this year, I was encouraged to apply for an international fellowship program- a US-UK Fulbright Commission Summer Institute. Once again, I did not expect to earn a coveted spot in such a prestigious program. Six Americans chosen. Six. I worked hard, and believed that I was capable of earning the spot, but was more than prepared for rejection.

By the grace of God, I just got back from the very best four weeks in Belfast, Northern Ireland, a month of what I can only call some of the absolute best experiences of my life.

Some of these *expectations proven false* brought immense joy, some extreme sorrow, and others a world of confusion and uncertainty- but one thing that they all have in common is that they amounted to a life full of moments and experiences that I never could have dreamed up for myself.

I can tend to be a control freak over my life in many ways, and I have come to fully realize this. I want to have everything figured out and planned. I also can have pessimistic tendencies by expecting the worst, and then being excited and *surprised* when something better happens. I mentally frame it as a way to *protect* myself and anticipate the worst- a way to be ready for it and to minimize any earth shattering effects… Because I totally have that much power, and this totally works, right…?

What I have learned is that not only are these thought patterns counterproductive, they can also be quite dangerous. They fool me into the belief that I have control over the vast uncertainty of life and that the best and worse case scenarios are ones that I can dream of and plan for. It also robs me of the full and unhindered joy of life by my living expectation to expectation.

I set these expectations for life and subsequently limit it to what I can conceivably believe, but my sight is so limited and so small in comparison to life’s vast possibilities. By focusing on the worst or what *I am sure is to happen*, not only am I robbing today of its joy, but I am claiming that I can predict a future that is really and truly at the mercy of and created by the very creator of the universe.

See, when I try to plan and prepare, I am not leaving room for God’s plan for my life and am insisting that I need to have control so that I can handle what is to come. I am also inherently saying that I can think up and plan out the best possible course for my life. Yikes. Maybe not the best way to proceed.

But here’s the thing…We are not meant to handle everything on our own, we were never meant to and will never be strong enough for that. We also were never meant to plan it all out- we were meant to trust in God’s glorious plan for our lives and strive to live for Him. Yes we have free will, and because of that, things here on Earth can definitely get nutty, but no matter where we go or what we do- we are never alone and on our own.

When life is at its darkest, God is our strength, and when it is at its very best, He is our joy. Our lives are not meant to be constrained by earthly expectation, but fully lived at the mercy of and to the greatest extent as set forth and intended by our Father.

I find it ironic that the saying is “expectation VERSUS reality”, like it is some sort of war or conflict. What I have come to realize is that it really is a bit of a battle- for when we set expectations, we constrain the future and its potential to what we imagine and hope for it to be. We eliminate the possibility of more, better, and greater for the sake of comfortable and predictable. We trade out His plan for our life for our own. It is a fight at times, but a worthwhile one, to fight this automatic process of creating and living by expectations.

My challenge is that you revel and thrive in the land of uncertainty, of hope, of trust, and of more. More than you can imagine. More than you can dream. More than you can expect.

Trust that when you let go of control, you have a Heavenly Father who is always fully in control. He is your strength, your comfort, your joy, and the author of your life- and I know that I can say with honesty and great conviction that it’s time that I trust in that completely for myself. Surrender is scary, as is uncertainty, but when you embrace it-

That is when we will truly start living.

God bless y’all!

<3,

Me

p.s. of course I had to sneak a little shameless Northern Ireland throwback in there with the photo; )