They say a picture is worth 1,000 words- well if that is true, then these two images are worth an entire saga. On the left is a picture taken literally moments before we received the phone call that Sydney had passed away. When we first lost her, I was tempted to delete all pictures of that day to save myself the pain of reliving the moment my heart shattered, but three and a half years later and I am thankful that we saved them- maybe seems a bit crazy, but bear with me.
The second photo was taken a little over a year later, on the same shores of the same lake where the first picture was taken. This picture was taken after family pictures as we wanted to get a few crown pictures before Miss Georgia. I had completely forgotten about the first picture, yet we were drawn to take the one on the right. Going back to the lake at this place was hard, but this spot had always been a treasured one for my family and where we ran our pup, Stoney, so we decided we weren’t going to let it be forever tainted with pain and affiliated with that dreaded day, instead turning a place of sorrow to a place of joy and remembrance.
Fast forward even later and while I don’t have a picture to chronicle the change, the girl in the first and second pictures is so very different from the young woman that I am today. The girl in the first has her back turned and head down, not knowing what was to soon come and the storm she would soon find herself in and fighting- but the girl in the second is looking forward to the future, confident, strong, and fully at peace in the knowledge that God has her no. matter. what. She walked through the storm and came out on the other side stronger than she knew she could be. And now, that same girl does what some might consider strange- she thanks God for the valleys of life, along with the mountains, for she sees the beauty and provision that are brought forth out of the struggles and storms that He asks us to walk through.
It is certainly not in our nature to praise God for pain, because we don’t want to experience it in the first place and want nothing more than for it to end; however, we are so very quick to raise a joyous shout when we receive blessings. Listening to one of my very favorite songs Hills and Valleys by Tauren Wells humbled me and twisted my perspective as to how I view my life, both the struggles and the blessings.
Though life has its dark moments, or valleys, we are never alone and never abandoned- for God is right there with us and working in our hearts and souls in the mountains and valleys alike. One other powerful punch I took from this was that each valley is not meant to last forever, and He will walk along side us the whole way and provide the strength to climb to the mountain’s peak. The valley is not our final destination, but a moment along the path of life, one that we will assuredly conquer and find ourselves above- and once we fight out of that valley, we find ourselves stronger, wiser, and kinder people because of it. We never shake off the dirt from the valley, or the lessons learned, but we are no longer situated in the thick of it, and we can then look back and reminisce on and reevaluate the change, growth, and strength that came as a result of the journey and fight. No, the valley was not desirable, or fun, or comfortable- but it was necessary to fight our way to the top of the mountain, develop the strength we would need to get there, and to be able to appreciate the peak when we reach it.
An example of this transformation of perspective as it has played out in my own life…
Many know the story and importance of the song
I Can Only Imagine by MercyMe in regards to how it relates to Sydney- but if you don’t know specifics, to sum it up, it is the last song Sydney danced to when she won Miss Apple Capital’s Outstanding Teen, about a month before she passed away. None of us knew why she chose that song, but it is about how amazing it will be when we go to Heaven and meet God face to face- woah talk about God moving, because about a month later, she would be in that very position (To see a picture of Syd during this dance, visit my
Go Gold for the Cure page). The first three notes of the song are very distinct, and it is a very popular worship song, so it is not uncommon to hear it played on Christian radios. Whenever I hear those first three notes, I am immediately reminded of Syd and for a while, and sometimes even now, they would trigger tears and sorrow. The song that encapsulated such joy at times would reawaken my pain and heartbreak all over again. Over time, however, my heart began to heal and not only could I hear the song without tears, but I was back to feeling a rush of joy at its words and meaning. Don’t get me wrong, there are still times when I hear it and feel those same feelings of grief, but it does not quash my worship and joy in the true meaning behind those beautiful words. I now find myself, three and a half years later, going to that very song, that had once prompted sorrow, for strength. I listen to be reminded of a girl who was strong until the very end, I listen to be reminded of my own strength, but above all I listen to be reminded of a God from whom all strength stems, and who has the strength and power to conquer death itself.
For reference… Here are some of the lyrics from I Can Only Imagine ❤
Surrounded by You glory
What will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus
Or in awe of You be still
Will I stand in your presence
Or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah
Will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine
I can only imagine
He turned my sorrow to strength, gave me purpose amidst my pain, and brought me through and out of the valley to stand upon the mountain.
And while no, I am not thanking God for putting me through the pain or heartbreak, I am thanking and praising Him for His strength and guidance while I experienced it, and for using it to mold me into the woman that He desires me to be. I wish nothing more than for Syd to come back, for I miss her more and more with each passing day- but as the years go by, I am learning to trust more and more and find peace in God’s crazy yet so divine plans for each of us- and even in my moments of deepest pain, I remember where she now is and I can rejoice in that. Will we ever understand God’s ways and plans for us? Absolutely not. But we can always know that He is working all things together for our good- and that is worthy of a hallelujah!
Because of His divine ability to turn sorrow to strength and pain into purpose, I can truly look Heavenward and say “Lord, thank you for the deep valleys, along with the highest mountain peaks.”
So yes, that first picture is a reminder of a truly dark valley, but it is also a reminder that I survived what I thought could break me, because of His strength through me, and that no matter what I face, He is right there beside me. I never have to walk away, scared and unsure of myself- for in every. single. circumstance He is right there through it all.
“I’m thankful for my struggle, for without it I wouldn’t have stumbled upon my strength”
-Alex Elle
As always, feel free to contact me with the form below- what valley are you currently in? Have you had an exciting recent breakthrough? Did any specific part of this speak to you? I would love to pray for you or celebrate with you, so never hesitate!
Love y’all and God bless!
<3,
Me
Crowned for a Purpose 